September 20, 2009


Writing in this space that exists in the middle of nowhere is an interesting place to be, a place that I often feel I live in.

Labor Day 2009 marks 1 year that I have been back in America.

Still in PA, still without a job of any real significance. I have, called and e-mail and followed-up again and again with so many people, people in high positions. Zero luck. I now sit at a desk 8 hours a day and listen to people who don’t even know me getting angry with me for something I have no control over.

It’s a job I keep telling myself, a little bit of money to put in the wallet. Money to buy my wine from time to time and keep my sanity. O right and make my car payment. 1st time in my life that I actually had to buy a car. The years and years of company cars have come to an end.

I live in a space, not my space, not a bed but in a room, not a bedroom. I do have a roof over my head for that I am thankful.

I have reunited with people who I have not seen in over 20 years. I have met new people that I am so very thankful are now in my life. Others who I wish never entered my life because they are so cruel and so one way. It’s humbling, stifling, boring, and saddening some days. Other days it just time that passes.

I have learned new skills on jobs that I would never have thought I could have done in my life. Hydrolazers, Isophase, Alter X, Condenser Bay, Turbine, and Dosimeter. Words that were foreign to me are now part of my ever expanding vocabulary. A month of “Silkwood”!!

Looking on the positive side of the road. I run, I am running again, I run fast, the fastest I have ever run in my whole life. I’ve won medals and trophies. Will I ever be on the level of elite – LOL not by a long shot. Will I ever be able to understandPre Jr. or get that high…not so much but it feels good on a certain level. I am finally fit…to others, in their eyes. In my head is a different story. Damn you ED.

Don’t ever say “yous” or Illi”noise” or “TAger” or “ain’t”. Keep your grammar and accent in check. You worked hard to get out and now you will have to work even HARDER to get out again.

People who think they have authority over you will someday come to the realization who you are and what you have to offer. Worldly, ambitious, savvy, adventurous, not afraid and ready to go at a moments notice.

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